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Humphrey Pumphrey
Humphrey Pumphrey is a fictional character from the Thames Television sitcom George and Mildred. He was portrayed by Reginald Marsh. In charge of a meat company, Humphrey married Ethel Tremble (Avril Elgar). They lived in a posh split-level bungalow in Purley before moving to a large mansion in Oxshott. Ethel's sister Mildred married George Roper in 1953 and moved to 6 Myddleton Terrace in Putney, and Ethel is visibly not keen on George. According to George, Ethel and Humphrey only invite the Ropers when they have something to show off. In 1973, Ethel and Humphrey install a fancy electric garage door and Humphrey shows George it in the pouring rain, much to George's annoyance. In 1974, Ethel and Humphrey cannot come and visit the Ropers as Humphrey has lost his driving licence for a year for drink driving, so George and Mildred go to see them for the weekend instead, but Ethel and Humphrey ask them to leave as George has gone on about Humphrey losing his driving licence all evening. Ethel and Humphrey move to their mansion in Oxshott in early 1976. Also in 1976, George and Mildred move to Peacock Crescent in Hampton Wick. Ethel and Humphrey install electric gates to the entrance of their property, which open to the sound of Ethel's voice.Shortly after, Ethel and Humphrey stay with them for a few days. George trades in his old car for a broken down caravan, which he has dumped on his front lawn. Mildred is embarrassed of this and Ethel criticises her new home: "Oh what a lovely ''little ''house" she says. Mildred sits Humphrey next to her new lava lamp, but it makes him feel queezy. Mildred lets Ethel and Humphrey spend the night in her and George's bed, so she and George must sleep in the spare room, which only has a single bed in it. George is not fussed on the idea and instead sleeps in the caravan, which gets towed away by the Peacock Crescent Resident's Association. Mildred brings her milk in by the front door, to see the caravan, and George, gone. She gets a lift with Jeffrey Fourmile, her neighbour to the scrap yard where they rescue George and bring him home. While all this is going on, Ethel and Humphrey are left at the Ropers' house with some burnt toast. In late 1976, Ethel arrives in her "new bottle green automatic Jaguar XJ6", to talk to Mildred about their mother who is becoming too old to be left on her own. George does not want her to live with them, Ethel and Humphrey are planning to convert their spare room into "a billiard room and sauna bath". A family conference is called to decide the issue of who should look after her. Mildred's mother shows George a letter from her son Arthur in New Zealand, inviting her to live with him on his farm. George plans to invite her to move in with him, in order to gain Mildred's favour and to make the rest of her family look selfish, with the intent of sending her to live with Arthur soon afterwards. Humphrey and Mildred tell George that her living with Arthur would have been better, but of course he died in 1955. In November 1977, Mildred invites Ethel and Humphrey for dinner, but their electricity has been cut off,leaving the Ropers and their guests in the dark - and the chicken half-cooked. Humphrey decides to phone a hotel to book a table for dinner there. However, the phone does not work because it has been cut off due to George not having paid the phone bill, so the four of them have to make do with ox-tail soup and a Weetabix. In December 1977, Mildred is to star in the Hampton Wick Players' production of Cinderella. Ethel and Humphrey arrive for the evening of the performance, but by then, Mildred has fallen ill and lost her voice, leaving George to take her place. However, the taxi taking him there crashes into Ethel and Humphrey's car, so Jeffrey has to play the role instead. In September 1978, Humphrey offers George a job with his meat firm but George does not want it, despite Mildred's insistence. After learning that Humphrey is planning a weekend away in Jersey with his buxom secretary Maggie, George tells Humphrey that he will not tell Ethel about his trip if he claims that there is no job at his firm for him. When Ethel finds the tickets for Jersey in Humphrey's jacket pocket, he claims that they are a present for George and Mildred so she gives the tickets to them. When George accidentally reveals that Humphrey's plan was to take his secretary, Humphrey rips up the tickets in frustration. In December 1978, Mildred's Yorkshire Terrier, Truffles, is in season and she decides that she wants her to have puppies, so she asks Ethel if her Yorkshire Terrier, Pomeroy, would mate with her to create pedigree puppies. She agrees, and the two dogs mate. Bad news strikes, though, as it turns out that the pub Labrador had got to Truffles first as when she gives birth, she produces Yorkshire Terrier-Labrador crosses! On December 27th 1978, Ethel and Humphrey visit George and Mildred to exchange presents, but the Ropers, thinking that Ethel and Humphrey were not coming to see them, drunk the wine and ate the chocolates bought as Christmas presents for Ethel and Humphrey. With some quick improvisation from the Ropers, Humphrey receives some oven gloves and Ethel a pound of cheese! Unimpressed, she observes the 3 Christmas cards the Ropers have received: one from the Fourmiles next door, one from themselves (featuring the Bank of England with a robin on top of it - of course) and one George has written from the goldfish. Appearances Humphrey appeared in the following episodes: * "Where My Caravan Has Rested" (Series 1) (1976) * "Family Planning" (Series 1) (1976) * "The Unkindest Cut of All" (Series 2) (1977) * "No Business Like Show Business" (Series 2) (1977) * "The Four Letter Word" (Series 3) (1978) * "The Mating Game" (Series 4) (1978) * "On The Second Day of Christmas" (Series 4) (1978)